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Still you being my friend ? Friday, April 13, 2012 Friday, April 13, 2012 | 0 notes

\Bismillahirrahmanirrahim/  Writing about this tragedy makes me scared until I would close my eyes tightly and patch up my hands to cover my headache. I don't know how to confess this feeling. The first trauma in my mind was happening on 25 February 2012. The bad day since I'm enjoying f3's year. That night, my sad tears was roughly streams like a waterfall. I won't remember it all again !  But, I must write to erase them.

Act, that night was a settlement for our clashes. About 2 weeks we're quarreling, we just looking down to each other and I'm facing stress all times. My sister always said,

"Noni, you've three stages to keep strong. First, when you're in first stage, you'll keep it in your heart. Not telling anyone is not your way to hide. In second stage, you may be lonely to hide your big problems from others. Only people knowing you will get you together with them. Calming you whenever you're need their help. Last and sad situation is in third stage whenever you had lost your body control. All your stresses were combined and you'll force yourself to do what you want to release it. But,if you're failed, you'll cry. Cry lonely using full of your efforts. That's really hurt whenever someone looking at you"

The story began with me, Pkah and Aina. Act, one secret was being told to Pkah and, I trust her a lot and we're very close friends at that time. And one day, I got news she'd told her dormate about this secret. I felt exhausted. The secret story was about AI. I knew, Aina had already knew about this, but I cant accept she's knowing all the truth. I bet it's because Aina.She done the bad thingy to me a week ago. Till that time, I still kept her bad thingy.

As you know Pkah, mg lah ore huk aku cito full. Takdok so habuk pung tingga. Memey full ah. Tok blawokk lasungg ! Mg lah ore huk paling aku cayo ! Mg la saeng huk paling aku nk citooo masaloh aku. You're understanding. We've chemistry. Tp, mg tahu sndiri lah kei ? Aku pantang ore oyk gp huk ak cito. Terutama ko Aina, aku tokleh trimo sangak-2. Dio penoh wk aku hampaa --,--"

Mg tau jugok kei, kalu gp2 aku suko pndam. Aku tok suko luoh kokre lainn. And aku pendam, punya pendam. That's why you got surat ngan ayat pedas macam mkan cili api satu gelen. Before surat tu smpai kat tangan kau, aku ado suruh Mimi baco. And aku tak sangka Mimi huk biasanya takdok feeling pun gapo-2 huk aku penoh crito ko dio bulih triok bilo baco. Aku terkeduu Mimi feeling gitu. Mimi begging katku, jangelaa ata. As well aku degil, surat tu trimo jugak kt kau. 

And, aku dengar mg baco surat tu beley-2 triok sooh-2. Aku tak sangka, gadis setabah mg bulih triok lagutuh. And mg cmpak surat tu ko A kei ? Mg suruh dio baco ayat last --,---

Ayat last aku, "Thanks sebab dah hancurkan kepercayaan aku ko mg, ex-friends. Trusting you is bitter after this." 

Act, kalu aku jadi mg kei, aku pun takdok aroh tujuan doh. And hari Sabtu minggu tok balik, mg balik. I heard mg balik sbb mg stress lajok. Ak sedih ugok bilo denga, tiap-2 male mg sedih. Mg baloh nga Aina sbb aku kei ? Pkah, jangelah ---,---"  Mg sedorm nga dio, come on girl ! Mg nga dio takdok problem pun.

Tapi, huk buak aku triok skali, mg tohok semo bare huk Aina penoh bg ko mg. "Pkahh, bakpo mg wak ginii ? Sbb aku maroh dio, mg snggup hancurkn prshbtn mg nga dio. Jangelaa. Maso tuh, aku nga Aina OK lagi. Baik lagi. Aina oyk mg lepar semo bare huk dio penoh v ko mg,. Tudung, cermin, keychain and other tu atah katil mc Na. And , you balikk.

Next, The time was 7.20 p.m on Tuesday, Menie, Pkah's friend met me. She told me what you've asked her. I repeatly asked about what the topic have you told Aina . But, she's not answer me. Sadly, I still pretended my patience for a friendship and a honesty. I didn't know which one must be trust. Confuses blended me out.

A few days later, I sent you second letter. I don't know this letter about what. I wrote it while I as under control. Meme ayat power sajoo aku guno. Mimi siak merayu lagi, jange ata ko Pkah. Tp maaf, aku degil. Aku stress, and aku tak boleh control diri aku. Aku terlalu lemoh nk mikir banyok kali. :/

That night, after Pkah reading the letter. She's crying out. I felt crazy. I've made my best friend cry. When prep session was running, two of her close friends called me. Fyi, Pkah and me were in different classes. She's form 3UK and me, 3PQ. One of her friend told me, "Noni, aku tok sanggup doh tengok sek mung lagu ni. Pleasee Noni, uboh hati mg. Aku tok sanggup tengok Pkah triok jah sokmo. Ak tokleh baye kalu sek mg putuh teruh. Meh, selesai slaluh !" Dio heret aku gi kelas UK.

At that time, Pkah was waiting for me at corridor. 'Dupdapp , Dupdapp ! Debaa -,-- First time sero ginih. '.
"Yes, Syafiqah Zakaria, Mg nk gapo ? " Me started it. 

Suddenly , Pkah was like a ..... a.... a monster ! Arghhh ! I dont want story bout this. Aku tokse ingak gano mg teking aku, mg nepik katku, mg maroh aku. Aku toklehh ! Ak takutt >,< Aku tokleh ore teking-2 ni. Aku lemoh. Aku sero nk jerik. Aku penoh alami bendo ginih duo tahun lepah. Aku tksei dio jd balik ! She's made me back to trauma.

Aku tok tehei mg saloh ko aku semo-2. Meme aku ngaku ah, aku bodo sbb tok mikir masok-2, Pigak, pleasee, jange teking aku teruk sangak. Aku tok teheii, Kalu mg kecek molek, aku bulih teheila. 

ime tu, ramai form one jumpa naqibah sek dio. Sesungguhnya, aku malu tapi, aku tok tehei doh keno kutuk gitu. Menie pun siak capur tange. Aku tok suko capur aduk msaloh aku nga ore laing. Kalau duo ore jah huk babit, so, duo ore tuh jah keno selesai caro masing-2. Takyoh capur ore lain. Okay ? Aku teruh lari balik ke kelas sambil nangis. Malunyooo ! "Ya Allah, tabahkan aku." Memang pelik, aku tak penah triok sapa lagutuh skali. Bkpo aku manjo sangak nih ?

Masuk jah kelas, Mimi and lain-2 tgk aku triok. They kept asking, "Noni, bkpo ni ? Oyakla." Aku tetap geleng. No one could understand me. Why I must story about past. No need. Aku terus lari pegi area toilet. Area toilet aras 4 blok F memey gelap gelito. And, I felt calm to release all my stress. I tried to erase it all. And, all my stress tears were flowing roughly. Aku nangis teresak-esak. I need friend,

"Friend, please come to me. Lent me you shoulder and your advices. "   

Astaghfirullah, aku taktau bkpo dgn aku maso tuh. I can't stop crying. Makin derah esakan tuu. After while, Mimi mari peluk aku. Aku terkedu. Mimi? Mc Tie penoh oyk, Mimi takdok feeling la and so on. Mimi came to me?

 She said, "Noni.. Mg saba deh? Aku tahu mg kuat. Shhhh.. Noni, mg sabaa. Deh?" Dio gosok palo aku. Gosok bahu aku. Yes, I can feel the calmness. Aku geleng. I don't have strength anymore. Mimi pgg aku. Mujo dio tinggi. Hishh --,-- "Miie, aku tok larat doh nk pendam semo-2 ni. Bkpo dio wak gini? Aku tok penoh mitok end friendship ginih jah. Lepah wehh ! Mg gi jauhh !".

"Eh Noni, aku oyak doh keii, Ni semo Tuhan nk uji mg. Ado hikmah semo ni. Mg keno saba jah. Tuhe skmo nga mg. Istighfar banyok Noni, ngucap banyokk.. Tokkei aku nk tinggal mg sore-2 sinih? Tepak ni gelap weh, Meh masuk kelah."Aku geleng, but, aku tok larak nok perey nga perasae ni. Nok gilooo --"

Tp, Mimi bukei bawok aku gi kelas. Tp, gi tepak saknih. Tepak aku nga Pkah jupo. "Miee!! Bkpo mg gi lagi tepak nih? " Mie jawab, "Noni, Menie nga McYa mari pnggil sknih. Aku takut jd gp-2 jah ko mg. Tu aku gi cari mg. Kito selesai slalu lah deh? 
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